


And Some Crack, Please

by LiinHaglund



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 09:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11288391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiinHaglund/pseuds/LiinHaglund
Summary: “Oi, Aya, middle of the fight here,” Youji called after him.“Yeah, no, I'm going to have dinner.”





	And Some Crack, Please

Weiss and Schwarz had reached a stand off. Neither side wanted casualties, so they had reverted to trading cold glares and heated words.

Youji was busy with the redheaded menace when Aya – the _other_ redheaded menace – walked off muttering “... doing his marathon monologues, we should be thankful he shuts up between words...”

“Oi, Aya, middle of the fight here,” Youji called after him.

“Yeah, no, I'm going to have dinner.”

“What?”

He had been sure _he_ had spoken the words, but that nasal voice could only belong to Mastermind.

“Food,” Aya elaborated.

“Now?” Youji asked, this time it really was him.

“Uh-huh. Not in the mood for Bitchy McBitchface over there,” Aya pointed out Oracle with his thumb, “and I haven't eaten in ages.”

“That's a bad idea, kitten,” Mastermind purred.

“Voices in your head tell you that?” Aya shot back. “I guess they're not there for fashion advice. Do you just throw random clothing items in the air and pick the ones that land on top of you?”

Youji tried not to laugh, because Aya's death wish was nothing funny.

“Picking on my outfit now?” Schuldig snorted.

Youji winced. That wouldn't end well. “Why don't you two fight each other?” Youji asked. Clearly the two homicidal nutcases could get along better than he and Mastermind did. “Get it out of your system?”

“Nah, I'm going to have dinner.”

“Cool. I'm going with,” Mastermind suddenly decided. “You're paying.”

“You two are both insane.”

Oracle was blinking like he had just been hit over the head with a pipe. Sadly, no one had done just that.

“Your telepath is insane,” Youji informed the foreigner.

Meanwhile, Omi, Ken, Nagi and whatever that psychopath was called were fighting like normal assassins should.

Oracle growled something in a language Youji knew for a fact was not English.

“Maybe it's the hair dye,” Youji theorized.

“More likely they're just hungry,” Oracle said in a bored voice.

“Doubt it. He's got this look, you know, that says ' _I'm too crazy for my pants_ ' and ' _the voices and I have reached an agreement_ ' – and don't get me started on your team's sorry excuse of a fashion disaster!”

“Schuldig is perfectly sane.”

“Are you deaf as well as blind? There is no culture on Earth where Schuldich would be considered even remotely sane.”

“I have papers from a certified psychologist that say otherwise.”

“Lemme guess, you held a gun to his face while he signed them?”

“What I appreciate about the red kitty cat is that he keeps quiet.”

 

 


End file.
